Evelyn Nissirios — ‘You Had Better Watch Out for Her!’

Bandy X. Lee
5 min readMar 16, 2024

‘The Amount of Harm that this Woman has Brought to Children is Despicable!’

I am not the only one issuing warnings, I have learned. The above is being said by a grandparent, who has seen what Evelyn Nissirios has done to his grandchildren. As an inspector of schools, he meets with principals and superintendents continuously, and he tells them: “Do you know Evelyn Nissirios on the Saddle River Board of Education? You had better watch out for her! Whenever you have to deal with her, be on guard — she is not who she seems to be!” He is alerting, I am told, anyone and everyone who will listen.

Apparently, Nissirios’ victims are now so numerous, the above grandparent has in the process encountered other grandparents whose grandchildren Nissirios has harmed. “She is such a psychotic woman,” the health professional informing me of the above commented, based on her own observations. Again, she posed to me the perennial question: “What is wrong with her?”

In the Middle Ages, individuals with schizophrenia were employed for special tasks, as they were perceived as sensing the spirit world more keenly than ordinary people (there is indeed a neuroscientific basis for this belief). In our day, we have the more cynical situation of individuals with psychopathy being employed by the Family Courts, as they are seen as being more efficient than normal persons in horrific deeds such as sending children to their torture and death for monetary gain (there is ample research on their absence of compassion and conscience). Individuals with psychopathy also wear a “mask of sanity” that makes covering up criminality almost seamless (it is the diagnosis of serial rapists and mass murderers).

Nissirios may or may not be psychotic, but there is considerable evidence that she may be psychopathic. I have begun evaluating her at the request of a litigant who is planning to sue her for fraud. Of note, forensic evaluations can take many forms. Objective data are more reliable in assessing dangerousness and criminal personality patterns than a personal interview, in which affected individuals motivated to mislead through pathological lying. Dangerousness, furthermore, may sometimes invoke a societal duty to warn potential victims, including the public. This duty becomes even more binding when children are involved.

In addition, I have the advantage of receiving information from almost two dozen sources. Therefore, I can speak more generally about the most common descriptor I receive in relation to Nissirios: “sadistic”. What does it mean to be sadistic?

The term sadism derives from the eighteenth-century French novelist Marquis de Sade, whose stories of degradation and graphic sexual acts, along with his own sexual crimes, landed him in prison. Sadism does not always have to be sexual, but always involves enjoyment and pleasure from deliberately inflicting pain to others — be it physically, verbally, or emotionally, and frequently through manipulation and humiliation.

A sadist can have devastating consequences on children, adults, communities, or society. Sadism is thought to derive from adverse childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual abuse, that push an individual toward sadism. Societal endorsement may also encourage recurrent cruel behavior that focuses purely on one’s own pleasure at the expense of other people.

When sadistic personality disorder appeared as a separately diagnosable psychopathology in 1987, in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Third Edition, Revised (DSM-III-R), the core feature was a pervasive pattern of “cruel, demeaning, and aggressive behavior, for the purpose of amusement or obtaining pleasure from the suffering of others.” Currently, it is conceived not as a separate disorder but as a trait of a personality disorder, psychopathy, the Dark Triad, or social deviance with impulsivity and rule-breaking.

Current research shows that sadism is most strongly related to increased psychopathic features. Psychopathy is characterized by deficits in emotional functioning, irresponsibility, pathological lying and deception, conning behavior and lack of sincerity, superficial charm, manipulation, and lack of empathy. Convicted male prisoner studies confirmed that all psychopathic components — interpersonal exploitation, emotional impoverishment, parasitic lifestyle, and antisocial tendencies — are associated with sadism.

Sadism has also shown to be connected to narcissistic personality disorder, and sexual sadism in male sexual homicide offenders associated with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.

Sadism is heavily linked to the Dark Triad, which is composed of three socially maladaptive personality traits: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Psychopathy. All three concepts are underpinned by callousness, self-promotion, and social deviance. Narcissism implies attention-seeking and fantasizing about unlimited success or power while possessing a grandiose, over-exaggerated sense of self-importance and entitlement. Machiavellianism refers to deception, flattery, and manipulation to promote one’s own interests.

Sadism also has a connection to the basic personality factors in the Big Five and HEXACO models: these are dimensional ways of conceiving personality, through the dimensions of Neuroticism, Extraversion, Openness, Agreeableness, and Conscientiousness; HEXACO adds Honesty-Humility. Sadistic individuals lack integrity, emotionality, discipline, kindness, and social activity.

American Psychologist Theodore Millon divided sadism into four subtypes in his 2011 book, Disorders of Personality:

1. Enforcing sadism: “bossy” supervisors or deans believing that they have the “right” to be pitiless, merciless, coarse, and barbarous tyrants

2. Explosive sadism: unpredictably precipitous outbursts and fury, uncontrollable rage and fearsome attacks, and feelings of shame that are pent-up and discharged

3. Spineless sadism: venomous dominance and cruelty that are insecure and cowardly, publicly swaggering but selective of powerless scapegoats

4. Tyrannical sadism: relishing of menacing and brutalizing others, forcing them to cower and submit, verbally scathing, destructive, inhumane, and unmerciful

What does all this tell you about Evelyn Nissirios? You decide!

*This is the twelfth of weekly articles, now writing themselves as Evelyn Nissirios’ heinous acts keep coming to light (what can be more monstrous than the torture, maiming, and setting up for murders of countless innocent children?). As long as the child endangerment continues, there is a duty for all onlookers not to remain silent. These pieces are also intended to educate, as reducing today’s victims prevents tomorrow’s perpetrators. On this Ides of March, the day when Caesar was betrayed by his closest friends, we can consider the ex-spouses’ betrayal — “Et tu, Brutus?” — but then there is the betrayal of Family Court, which is supposed to protect families, and of guardians ad litem such as Nissirios, who turn around and commit the most horrendous, egregious, loathsome, and lurid crimes against the children with whom she is charged. More will be exposed in the upcoming book, Judicial Violence: Anatomy of a Family Court Case. Those who have additional information to share can reach me here. Thank you!



Bandy X. Lee

Forensic psychiatrist, violence expert, president of the World Mental Health Coalition (worldmhc.org), and New York Times bestselling author.