Family Courts are the New Holocaust

Bandy X. Lee
9 min readFeb 7, 2024

I Cannot Publish All Letters that Come to Me — but This One Illustrates Why, like Germans under Nazism, Average Citizens are Unaware of Family Court Atrocities

Dear [U.K. Member of Parliament],

You may know that the following is an issue in family courts throughout almost all Western countries, where there have been protests, suicides, etc., for a long time with estimated millions of victims (several judges in the U.S. are in prison for taking about $50,000 cash per child custody from abusers, but generally investigations are not allowed regardless of evidence there, either)….

In my case that started 20 years ago after horrific abuse, there were over 100+ pieces of perjury over the years, some done by the judges and many by the CAFCASS [CPS in the U.S.] officer, likely corruption, like my abuser had always threatened he’d do as he had money. The amount of perjury was one of the worst ever seen in family court, many lawyers have told me, even a couple of judges….

I tried for many years to get justice, and all the judges closed ranks and told me to shut up or I may never see my now depressed young child again. It was torture, literally torture. Even Mark Potter, then Family Court President, saw me and admitted serious irregularities but said, “We are human, but you have to accept that we make mistakes and stop trying to expose it, or we can ban all contact with your son,” knowing that my young child was going from hand to hand while the father lived abroad!

I was all alone, terrified, and knew [the] only path forward was to die, as they had destroyed me in every way. I then had two children on my own, as I was too scarred to date but continued to fight for justice and my elder child, and the money I, we, were entitled to and that had been stolen from us while living in poverty.

The main judge who rubberstamped all the criminality told me he’d take my two young children into care, if I didn’t stop trying to expose him!

As for the stolen divorce settlement, many judges serially told me, “It happened, and so what?” Years of my being sadistically abused was again considered to be nothing, and I was told to accept it or would face severe consequences. It was literally like a cartel of criminals.

Then, after being kicked around by so many of them, intimidated, threatened, abused, my children abused, one district judge said he was beyond shocked by the case and the level of improprieties throughout and apologized on “my colleagues’ behalf” (two more lower judges also tried to intervene, saying that it was shocking what was being done to us, but senior judges always overrode them). He sent me to the police with the file, as it was all a criminal matter that warranted prosecution.

A detective read it and was gobsmacked himself, admitted all was a criminal matter, but “senior judges are involved, and they deliberately overlooked tons of perjury and staged so that that devious man win…. The district judge who sent you here is below them, and those senior judges who staged the case are even above the police. So, we will do nothing.” They were too scared, but I think the police failed my children and me by not acting on the action of that amazing judge….

I have never been allowed to even know the name of the barrister who stole my livelihood and forced me to sign off so much that I was entitled to, that used the social security [also Title IV Federal Funds in the U.S.] to basically pay for the abuser’s comfortable lifestyle, which is also illegal, while we suffered and struggled….

Now that my children are older, I have returned the matter to court myself, and a judge has thrown it out of court as it is years out of time. But I’d explained what they did to me when I was “in time,” for many years — threatened me very aggressively. Such nefarious criminality should have no deadline, just like so many historical abuses that we see in the media.

But this judge “accidentally” mentioned [the name of that barrister who] aggressively paced up and down the consulting room shouting at me to accept that I had no right to any of the money my abuser had earned during our marriages (large golden handshake, large bonuses, house sale private pension, etc…), as I had lost child custody,… again I believe due to corruption, though I was praised as a mother to the sky, even by the judge who gave the abuser custody….

I have written to the current Justice minister, who told me to take the matter back to court. But how, when they kicked me about for many years and now everyone is terrified to act, plus it is “out of time”….

Huge numbers of lives have been destroyed, children’s too, children pushed into poverty due to almost certain wide-spread corruption (according to many), domestic abuse victims re-abused and deprived of an education, the worst and the most immoral of parents, mothers and fathers, rewarded and encouraged to keep on abusing/conning more people, perjury treated as a virtue and serially committed by many of them on one case as it is “free for all,” children stolen from, deprived of hobbies, holidays, a lifestyle they are legally entitled to, foreign parents discriminated against and treated worse than animals. The fact that that institution has been on an illegal rampage for decades is truly shocking. I know that there are many lawyers, even judges, who want to have a voice about what they have been witnessing. I have spoken to many myself. Some even left their jobs, as “I believe in God and cannot be part of something like this any more.”

Many of us with older cases have noticed that the lawyers and judges who abused us the most, were dishonest, abusive, who didn’t care about the children, are now top judges, while those few who were shocked and tried to do something to rectify the injustice are still district judges….

This has been going on for over 50 years, and forever will, if something drastic is not done. I still see suicidal people who cannot stop the huge amount of perjury on their cases on the support forum. Life is so cheap. This has been going on as most MP’s [Members of Parliament] keep quiet as they do not seem to care challenge abusers of power despite 120+ MP’s and 80+ family lawyers and Victims commissioners, as well dozens of charities, academics, and journalists over the years demanding an inquiry in an open letter years ago, when Theresa May declined it….

The fact that the police are too scared to act on serious criminality (I have contacted top police chiefs, too, regarding my case and never got a reply) is truly sickening, despite the police in the stations across the country telling us regularly that they are inundated with family court victims bringing them perjury evidence. As you as an MP know, MP’s are also inundated with the same cases and have been for decades, yet the criminality circumnavigating all international laws and those of basic personal decency continue.

I have asked Baroness Falkner, Chair of Human Rights, for an independent inquiry, stating my case and mentioning many others similar ones. Tens of thousands like mine and thousands of resulting suicides. She started to scrape excuses, that her department was short of money…. Then I wrote an open letter/reply to her and sent it to many in the media. Have any of them contacted her? She needs to know that people are watching, albeit scared….

Thank you for caring for us and trying to help us get a breakthrough.


[Name Redacted]

Here is my open letter:

Dear Baroness Falkner,

As the Chair of Equality and Human Rights of Britain, what do you think about the denial of an independent inquiry of family courts that was asked for by 123 MPs, 80+ lawyers and academics, a few journalists and hundreds of thousands of victims, including the families of those who have committed suicide as a result within the last 30+ years?

It is an open secret that those “courts” have been sadistically abusing their power over people and habitually and gratuitously breaching human and children’s rights to the point of complete life destruction.

Let me list a few out of many recurrent crimes perpetrated within those quasi courts: total bias towards a chosen party, often a promiscuous and negligent parent, but in some cases a batterer, convicted criminal, or even a paedophile; overt xenophobia and even racism where foreign parents married to British sociopaths are stripped of all dignity, rights, and worth before losing custody of their children, followed by deprivation of all the entitled-to matrimonial assets, likely due to corruption; battered mothers being thrown out on the dole, while the perpetrator gets all the matrimonial money, meaning that the social security is used by some in those so-called courts to fund the lifestyles of abusers and crooks and in some cases allegedly cover for the bribes taken, according to many victims; perjury treated as normal if perpetrated by court staff (fellow judges, CAFCASS officers, social workers, lawyers) and the pet parents — in some cases 30, 50, and over 100 pieces of perjury deliberately ignored, both by the initial set of judges and later in all the consequent tries of the victims to get justice; victims who fiercely seek justice that they are entitled to both according to national and international laws, and try to expose the crimes against them and their children get intimidated, threatened with never seeing their children again, and abused ceaselessly by the judges who obsessively close rank at the cost of all dignity, professionalism, and victims’ lives and livelihoods; corruption by monied abusers who obtain child custody, often by staging dangerous incidents that include young children to win, has been rumoured to be happening for decades; child rapists and fathers who severely abused and neglected their families are given full or 50–50% custody to avoid paying child support to their victims, devaluing marriage, children, and justice as parenthood starts at conception and not in court like fathers’ rights groups demand for their own selfish benefits; children have been ripped away from devoted sole carers and even adopted based on perjury in “expert” reports on a huge scale, with the victims gagged and the traumatised young children scarred for life, which is child abuse by the courts meant to protect them; family life is classed as unimportant in those ironically FAMILY courts, the monogamous are often persecuted, and parental promiscuity and sexual deviancy almost always comes before the children, devastating the lives of family-orientated parents and obliterating the stability of the whole society; the worst fathers imaginable, and even dangerous ones, have been granted contact with their scarred children, who are often dragged screaming to the ordered contact; devoted parents are routinely equalised with the most appalling, sociopathic ones who should never have had any children, the trend that incites sociopaths to serially produce families, cheat, move on, and shatter lives, while those who truly enjoy family life and have moral integrity are too scared to settle down (at all or again); even the most extreme forms of mental abuse of both children and adults is totally ignored and the abusers rewarded for their mental torture of their spouses and children while reaction to mental abuse/torture punished without mentioning the cause of it, which encourages abusers to keep on abusing; while there is an astonishing amount of regulations stifling the victims with deadlines, lack of adequate procedures, rights and Legal Aid lawyers, or lawyers daring to get involved with the most dubious of cases, the court staff seem to be bound by no legislations or duty to act according to the law to start with and at every following juncture; all whistleblowers are sacked; no complaints procedures work but are only decorative, meaning there is total anarchy and unaccountability despite an enormous quantity of documentary evidence for serious abuse of power and even criminality, often in a serial sequence per case; you know that the media are gagged and scared of reporting on these crimes despite thousands regularly writing to them for decades….

It seems to be that most people in power do not understand that with such power there should be basic decency and responsibility; otherwise, it is all fake, insipid, and shameful! That in a democracy civil servants need to be of far higher than average moral probity and not below the average bar, where they turn a blind eye to human suffering, injustice, and serious human rights abuses.

May I know what you are, as a person in charge of human rights in Britain, going to do regarding these horrific crimes against humanity, and if and when you are going to give the victims of the last 3-4 decades a voice that they are legally and democratically entitled to? With your title and in your role, turning a blind eye should never be an option….


[Name Omitted]



Bandy X. Lee

Forensic psychiatrist, violence expert, president of the World Mental Health Coalition (, and New York Times bestselling author.